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How does your attachment style affect your relationship?

Did you know consistently pushing away your partner can indicate a need for self-reflection? This conduct reflects your relationship with yourself and can provide insights into your attachment style and emotional dynamics.

Understanding attachment styles


Attachment style can depend on your childhood experiences with your family members and can change throughout the years. What are the consequences of an unhealthy attachment style?

Well, you might feel uncomfortable showing emotions and appreciating your partner’s efforts, feel an ick with intimacy, push your partner away, fear abandonment, be clingy and dependent, and have trust issues.

This can cause getting stuck in a situationship or serial dating and choosing the wrong partner over the loving one.

Imagine saying this: I liked this person so much, but now that they are liking me back, I am no longer interested in them or stop being clingy all the time.

If you ever said this, it might be because subconsciously you are scared of a secure relationship. In this situation, you try to find something to pick on to start an argument or leave the relationship with a person who is treating you right.


Transitioning to secure attachment style and relationship:

Changing your attachment pattern is an ongoing task. It changes throughout your life, and nobody has a perfect attachment style.

How can you transition to a secure attachment style?

1. Be self-aware: Take accountability and start noticing your actions. Example: Be aware when you push your partner away from you. Also, Identifying and holding yourself accountable for toxic traits can prevent attracting toxic partners.

2. Seek favors and advice: Build trust and bond by asking small favors to acknowledge your partner about their value in your life.

3. Gratitude journal: List every good thing your partner did for you. It can include the gifts, compliments, and affection they gave you.

4. Communicate: This is the most beautiful and loving thing you can do to build a strong and healthy relationship. Set boundaries, and communicate your insecurities with your partner.

5. Environment: Create a loving and safe environment for your partner and yourself.

6.  Open mind: Don’t be rigid in finding a ‘perfect ideal partner’ as it can self-sabotage in the right partner.


Bonus points for a healthy attachment style and relationship:


1. Take a quiz on Google and other platforms to get a glimpse of your attachment style.

2. Google the attachment style and learn about it. For example: If the results mention that you have an avoidant attachment style, search and find the causes and symptoms for it.

 3. Journal and practice positive affirmations. Try to understand your triggers.

4. List out your past relationships and make a pros and cons list.

5. Reflect on your childhood experiences. This includes figuring out if you felt neglected or abused as a child.



In conclusion, your attachment pattern influences your relationship with your partner. If you constantly find yourself attracting toxic guys or being toxic with loving ones, it may be because of the underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Ultimately, developing a secure attachment style and taking proactive steps not only benefits you but your partner too.




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